Woohoo Cthulhu

This is a cross-post from MySpace (where I've been spending most of my time). I'm looking into getting a guitar and taking lessons. I went out with Brain yesterday to a few stores and came across these two...

Thought I'd toss a few images up of the guitars that I want.  Here's the Ovation, a slim Acoustic Electric with an absolutely beautiful sound to it:



And here's the Ibanez - a hollow body electric that looks a little snappier but is a bit more expensive and doesn't have nearly as nice a sound when it isn't plugged into an amp (something that I'll have to buy along with it, making it more expensive):

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
5. Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.


"Above the crowded bookshelves at intervals along the walls were well-wrought family portraits; all tarnished to an enigmantical dimness, and bearing an unmistakeable likeness to the man who now motioned me to a chair beside the graceful Chippendale table."
-The Call of Cthulhu and Other Weird Stories, He, by H.P. Lovecraft

As an aside, I'm very happy that this was, in fact teh closest book to me when I decided to post this. Thanks, Erin!

Well, after a longer than I'd ever have wanted to go hiatus, I've finally found my way back to the web. This is a bit of a pirate broadcast though as I haven't officially discussed the usage of net-time with Jeff and how we are both going to go about using the same phone line. I would be posting this on MySpace, but its being lame. Doesn't it know that it needs to bow down before me as I reclaim my slightly cob-webby throne?

/sigh

No one understands greatness. Not even websites.

Ryon is a Robot that is fitted with a Bulldozer Blade, has Twin Tank-Tracks, jams Radio Transmissions, Spins Around Randomly, and is Powered and Controlled by a Hamster. Force: 5 Handling: 5 Weaponry: 0 To see if your Battle Robot can defeat Ryon, enter your name and choose an attack: fights Ryon using Force Handling Weaponry

Alright, last day and not much time left. This will be my last solid transmission for a while. Not sure how internet access is going to be obtained at Jeff's so if you don't see me or hear from me for a while, this is why. Feel free to call me, though. And know that I will be back. Later guys!

Well, most of my things are now moved over to Jeff's. I still have all my dishes and a few other domestic items to worry about. Then all that's left is replacing the shelves in the closet and cleaning the whole place up. I have until Thursday, so we should be all gizzy in the hizzy.

Hockey was pretty good tonight. I had a little trouble during the first game, but I really did well during the second which is good because the past few weeks I've played have left me feeling really terrible. Overall I seem to have this horrible underachieving funk going on and I'm hoping that the success of getting out of this apartment will help alleviate that a bit as I get my life back in order and on track.

I've been talking with Lauren a bit about various things. Mostly, there's a slim chance that she and I might go out to Germany together in August (before PAX) which I'm intensely excited about and am willing to go to great lengths to make happen. As it turns out, I really fucking miss Lauren and even if Deutschland falls through I'm hoping to smuggle myself out to the city to see her and the posse out there. Talking with Erin recently and worrying about Heidi all by her lonesome (save for her b/f and roommate) have been taking their toll on me as well. I've lost touch with a lot of people and I'm hoping to right that wrong over the summer - at least a little.

But, I digress. I'm really just ranting. Still, better to get it out now because I'm not sure what my net-access situation is going to be l;ike after moving in with Jeff. At the very least, I know I'll be distracted by the massive amounts of DS play that seem to be inevitable not only due to living with Brain, but also because Rob is getting his Lite soon and Jason, Sara, and Nick are back in town.

Mario Kart DS Tourney? I think so.

Its interesting that my grand blog sweep would begin here. I haven't updated my LJ in a long time. I've got to start somewhere though, and this is as good a place as any...

My biscuits are officially slightly less in the fire. I'm moving out. I simply can't afford my rent anymore coupled with crazy ass utilities and such, so I'm breaking my lease and moving in with Jeff (many thanks, Jeff!) for a spell until I can get an apartment with roommates all worked out. With this (pun intended) new lease on life, I can get all my bills caught up and put the new budget that I've been struggling with into full swing (I owe that to Marjorie, she's been a great help in making sure I don't spend my money retardedly. Doesn't always work, but I appreciate it just the same ^_^).

In other news, I cancelled my WoW subscription for the time being. Jeff doesn't have a high-speed connection and I'm not going to transfer mine over and put his house through all that for a month or two. Rest assured that I'll probably be back - assuming the DS doesn't eat up all my time in WoW's place considering that Jeff and Diana and Jason and Hudson and Missy and Nick and (soon) Rob are all equipped for massive Mario Kart-a-thons.

I got to hang out a bit with everyone this weekend and I think the social awkwardness I've felt these past 2 months or so is fading away. Maybe because I've got a little less on my shoulders or maybe because I'm willing it away, or maybe both. Whatever the case, I'm glad its leaving me. I don't even know if anyone's noticed, but I've just been so critical of myself in public siutations and I've been trying to keep a little quieter and listen a little more. Much like my spending, it isn't always a successful endeavor, but I think last Thursday, especially was aprime example of improvement.

That's been a pretty solid theme in my mind, too. Improvement. I really want to improve myself in as many ways as I can. I already have kind of started with all the reading I've been doing. That's been an absolute blast (and a really great way to pass the time at work...). With a self-imposed WoW break, I hope to get back into the console gaming groove and wrap up a Final Fantasy or two. I went a little nuts since getting this cable hook-up. Damn you Comcast!

Anywho, I'm just ranting at this point. I wanted to go more into what's been going on lately, but I think i just did. Didn't come out quite the way I thought it would, but at least its out. Catch you all on the flip side.

Not much to say right now. That's a lie. More accurately, I have no time to say what I want to say save this - I have internet again. Hurrah!

I've been ignoring LJ for the more accessible MySpace these past few crazy weeks and for that, I apoogize. Here's the skinny for all of you who aren't in the know -

-I got my phone turned off and am without internet.
-3 weeks ago my car broke down and I had to scrounge up $540 to fix it.
-2 weeks ago I totalled my car in an accident.
-3 days ago I flew down to Texas with Marjorie and picked up a car that my mom was ready to sell me.
-I am going to Acen, but I'll be terribly broke. Many thanks to Andi for loaning me registration money.
-If you want to hook up with me at Acen, drop me a comment here, a message on MySpace or (most reliably) call me. This means you, Cassie! If I don't see you at the con, I'll cry!
-Its going to be pretty tight for me these next few months. I have to get myself out of debt and get things in good order to find a new place to live soon and get back into CLC this fall. As such, I won't be renewing my phone line when I get the bill all paid off and my internet access is going to be limited to whenever I opt to hit the library or some such thing. I'll miss my regular contact with you all, but I really need that extra $30-40 in my pocket.
-My new car's name is Crono. But then, it'd pretty much have to be.

I've come to an interesting mental crossroads. One worthy of an anime reference, even.

For those of you who don't know of Rock Lee, let me first offer an introduction. In the anime series Naruto, everyone is a ninja. Everyone. Most of these elite warriors have access to all sorts of fabulous attacks that they sacrifice their own energy (chakra) to use. Everyone except Rock Lee. For some reason or another, Lee is unable to properly channel his chakra for any other purpose then simple, brutal hand to hand combat. Moreover, he is determined to prove that he can be the equal of any other ninja by working hard and mastering any and every form of taijutsu (hand to hand techniques).

Throughout the series he suffers under his quasi-disability and during a particular brutal fight he gets his right arm and leg crushed. During his recuperation, he gets the bad news that some of his bone fragments have found their way into his spine (I don't know how feasible that is, so I ask that you please suspend your disbelief as I have). He has a choice - either live the rest of his life as a cripple or undergo a severely dangerous surgery procedure with a 30% chance of success that will kill him if it fails. With the tenacity that I've grown to admire so much in the character, he decides that his dream of being a ninja is as important (if not moreso) than his life. He gets the surgery and gives up the crutch he could've lived the rest of his days on.

The point of this poorly written example is that I find myself at a similar crossroads. I'm on my own - truly - for the first time in my life. Up until this point I've been using everyone - friends, family, co-workers, etc - as a crutch and its kept me from pursuing my own ends. This isn't new news, I'm just looking at it in a different way. I've been found wanting.

Time to break this rusty cage and run.

Feeling a lot better today. Had na easy day at work. Was able to talk my bank into refunding some of the ridiculous fees that were leveled against me. Went to the CLC library and printed out all the tax forms I need. AND, I was able to purchase lunch-making supplies. Hopefully this'll help me save a few bucks and ensure that I'm eating a little bit healthier ^_^;;.

Overall a very productive day, I'd say.

I'm a little depressed to admit that I really don't have the money to pick up Kingdom Hearts II tomorrow. Sad, I know. Maybe next week. Besides, I started playing Planescape: Torment tonight and I think that'll tide me over quite nicely.

And if that doesn't do it, the the barrage of cleaning that I've been putting off should. How I let my place get this messy, I'll never comprehend, but I must put a stop to it this week. Depending on how things pan out with Dad this weekend (he might be heading out this way for a visit), I hope to get at least the kitchen done, if not the whole apartment. Living on your own has its upsides - eating cookies for dinner and walking around naked at your leisure come readily to mind - but this whole not having someone to clean up after me has got to go.

Maybe I'll apply for a helper-monkey...that I can BATTLE!

Today was as boring as playing Super Smash Bros. on "Little Brother Easy Mode", but I did get something out of it. I got a plan.

And this ain't no pansy ass Red Mage plan, either. This is a pretty decent set of things to do that will hopefully get me somewhere in the as-of-right-now abyssmal chain of ticking seconds that I call my life.

Basically, the first thing I need is another job. Something moderately enjoyable and more social. I hate to say it, but I think I need to get back into retail.

But before anyone decides to wrap me in a "Hug Myself All Day" coat, please allow me to elucidate my reasoning behind this almost certainly moonstruck scheme. Frankly, when I get home every day (which is earlier and earlier now that I'm working five 8 hour days instead of four 10 hour days) I find that I'm just plain bored. I live too far to make ranging out to do something with friends a possibility and most of them are busy anyway. And I haven't had too much luck meeting new people. Getting a small part-time position would give me something to do with my spare time and a little extra cash besides. More importantly, depending on what I can get, I might be able to meet some cool new people (possibly of the single female persuasion?). At the very least I'll have a few extra bucks in my pocket.

As of right now, this idea is still in the brainstorm phase. I'm thinking something like Caribou or Barnes and Noble would make a fine place of employment as I know how to do the whole coffee thing and I find both of those places to be decent enough joints to hang out at. There is also one of each on my ride home from the office, so getting there wouldn't be too much of a hassle either. Ryan actually gave me the genius thought to try out movie stores and bars as well. The bar idea doesn't sit amazingly well with me, but the money would be more than any two of the other jobs combined, most like. Hell, I don't have to drink the stuff to work there so we'll see where that goes.

Overall, I'm digging the idea, which is intensely suprising. At the very least I'll be able to (as I've already stated) get some more padding for my wallet (Acen and PAX are just around the corner, as well as rock climbing and hockey - both of which I need gear for). At the very best I'll have a great time in a good environment that will improve my (as of late) terrifying social behavior.

So come Friday, I shall don my Job Hunting vestments and go out in search of some part-time work. Also, I'm finally going to get my license and registration updated.

But, that's not the end of it. Nay, 'tis just the beginning. Beyond jobness, I hope to get a few things paid off before June so I can use whatever birthday resources hit me at the end of the month to get a new car. I love Chidori something fierce, but the old girl is on her last le...err, wheel. My one regret there is that I was truly hoping to use birthday cash flow to get my own set of rockclimbing apparati, but all might not be in vain. We'll see how the curtain falls and go from there. This is a slightly more tentative leg of the plan.

Come the end of summer, I hope to have a substantial amount tucked away in my overseas bank account (i.e. my very much local TCF account) so that I am prepared for taking courses at CLC for the Fall semester. Anything I can get my hands on to work towards that Associate in Arts degree - though if I can, I will start taking Japanese again.

After that, leading into 2007, who knows? I'm hesitant to plan any further than the new car, really, but it seems like a solid way to get my life on track, so I'll stick with it and keep it fluid.

I've railed against myself for far too long without realizing that a slower path is more feasible for my future. Being an impatient person, there's a very large part of me that hates this plan and everything it stands for, but I've got to let this childish impatience (as well as other childish things) slip away so that I can move on. Or something like that.

In any case, I'll keep you all posted as this whole mess progresses. The rest of this week is looking to be a pretty easy one. I actually brought my Call of Cthulhu roleplaying book with me and have been pouring over its eldritch contents. Anyone who's interested in playing should hit me up to be Keeper as I'm loving the system so far.

And...let's see. I think that's it. Now, if you'll excuse me, this laundry isn't going to do itself.

...No matter how much I yell at it.

Bolt-2

Today was...a day. It had ups and downs and I'm exhausted here at the end of it. What more can I say?

At around noon, noon:30 Rob and I met up to cruise Independence Grove and take some pictures. Actually, Rob took all the pictures. I just walked. Still, it was good times. Hopefully I'll have something to show you guys from Rob's stash in the next few days.

After that, Rob and I hit up the mall and Best Buy to find a birthday gift for his sister. I met a girl named Britney at Suncoast who I'll hopefully see at Acen and I got to play me some Guitar Hero, which is always good.

After that, Rob and I parted ways for a bit and I hit up Gurnee Mills. This is because I hate myself and wanted to suffer through the insanity of the mall on the weekend more than once. It wasn't too terribly bad. Kicked around in Games Workshop and then hit up Hot Topic where I got to see Jenna again, which was nice.

Leaving that unholy shrine of commerce, I headed to Jeff's. Melissa was getting tattooed and I had nothing better to do so I figured I'd hang out and have a look-see. She made me proud by getting the Serenity symbol on her neck. It turned out awesome. Also, I got to meet Rob's sister (she's very cute) who commissioned Jeff to do this really cool I-forget-the-name-of-the-flower tattoo all along her side. It made me jealous. Everyone there was either tattooing or getting tattooed and can't wait to get my next one - I'm addicted.

Work tomorrow out in Crystal Lake. Might be nice to see that area again. At the very least I hear its an easy job, so I can breathe a bit easier there. And after that? Home for more Soul Calibur III. I suddenly feel this need to unlock EVERYTHING.

Yesterday was hellish. Absolutely abyssmal. Not sure what the catalyst was, but as soon as I got home from work (which went suprisingly well considering I only got 3 hours of sleep) I broke down. My stomach rebelled against me and a wave of melancholy struck me to the ground. I went out to get some medicine and stop by the rink to see how hockey was progressing (because, to my everalsting regret, I didn't have the physical capacity to make it out to Cortland), but I only got as far as the Target on route 60 before I decided to just go home and hermitize myself in my dismal little apartment with Soul Calibur II blazing on the screen.

I fell asleep around 7:30, I think. Its kind of fuzzy because I kept waking up to go to the bathroom and to try and answer the phone whenever it went off, but to no avail. I had the hardest time, at one point, convincing myself that I was still alive.

This is just too goddamn bizarre. I shouldn't be this downtrodden. Everything was going so well. It still is. I just can't seem to don that smile I've been wearing these past few days.

Long day that was tedious up until about 5ish hours ago. Long story short, I ended up singing karaoke tonight. Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire" is mine forever. Though Wihl standing off to the side with a book of matches and a wicked glint in his eye did make me stumble a bit on the second or third chorus...

( I got tizagged )

Went to Nickel City today after work and busted out on the Dance Maniax machine for about 45 minutes. Got as high as a 1393 combo and almost aced the entire set, but I flopped near the end of Happy Hopper. Normally I'd be upset, because that's my favorite song and I know it so well, but I was just so glad to break a thousand again that I didn't let it get to me.

Afterwards I headed home through rush hour traffic (and cursed my "brilliant" idea to swing by the arcade) and stopped to get a hairvut and do some grocery shopping. The haircut turned out alright, I suppose. Its not different enough. I'm sick this Princeton (as it is classically called) cut. Maybe after this grows out a bit I'll have something cooked up.

Not much else. Kind of a boring day. Thought about a few things. I'm really thankful that I keep a journal and keep it with me at all times. I was able to flip back through the past few weeks (though I'm ashamed to admit that I've hardly been writing at all this month) and get a bit of perspective, which is always nice.

I'm breathing a bit more calmly now, I would say. I've got a rocky path ahead of me. School. Work. Romance. They've all been weighing heavily on me in one way or another, but wailing about it hasn't gotten me anything but an awkward feeling around the people I love the most.

I'm afraid. I'm afraid that I've whistled this tune one too many times before and that it really is just air blowing through my lips with no soul behind it. I'm afraid that I'm not ready. I'm afraid that I am ready and my fears are holding me back.

But, I must not fear. Fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has passed, I will turn the inner eye to see it's path. Where the fear has gone, there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

So, a guy walks into a bakery. He's been shying away from sweets for a while because the last one he had left him feeling not-so good. As it stands now, though, he feels pretty confident that he needs a tasty treat. There's a craving upon him that can't be ignored.

When he stands before the counter and begins to ponder what he wants, though, he gets stumped. See, he's had good experiences (for the most part) with the Cinnamon Roll Cheesecake. It really appeals to him right now, too. As he looks around, though, he sees a few other people eating it and isn;t so sure. Maybe something new then?

There's a tasty looking Tira Misu next to the cheesecake. He's not too familiar with Tira Misu, but everything he's heard about its construction leads him to believe that he'd really dig it. But alas, it seems a little out of his price range, to boot. He can make the sacrifice, most like, but it fills him with indecision.

What, then, is the right answer? Perhaps it'd just be best to leave the bakery and stick it out a bit longer. Who knows? He might just go in some day in the future and find the perfect treat. But can he hold out? What if the tastiest morsel is right in front of him and all that's keeping him from a confectionary nirvana is a nagging doubt brought on by a past memory?

I'm no longer "Friends Only". I really like posting a blog because of the fact that I can get feedback on things from total strangers. The whole Friends Only thing is all kinds of counter productive to that. So yeah, I might have to deal with some douche bags who stumble upon my little corner of the web and think my thoughts and views are shit. But for everyone one of them I'll hopefully get a new friend out of the mix.

Many thanks to Hei-chan for the amazing Midori no Hibi banner!